The misconception about remaining childfree that bothers many of us the most
is that people who decide not to have children are SELFISH. Some data/facts on this issue:
In 1992, Rathus and Nevid (both psychologists) interviewed hundreds
of couples on their reasons for having or not having children. They
found couples with children had 9 common answers for their decision,
and that couples without children had 13 common answers for their
decision.
To summarize, they are:
NINE COMMON REASONS GIVEN FOR HAVING CHILDREN:
- Personal experience - to have the experience of being a parent
- Personal pleasure - the fun and joy of raising children
- Personal extension - carrying on the genetic heritage or family
name
- Relationship - the close bond which is shared with children
- Personal status - culture affords some respect just for being a
parent
- Personal competence - gratification from facing the challenge of
parenting
- Personal responsibility - the opportunity to look out for the
welfare and education of another
- Personal power - some find the power they have over children
gratifying
- Moral worth - some feel it is a good and selfless act to put the
life of another first, or that it is a moral obligation to have
children
THIRTEEN COMMON REASONS GIVEN FOR NOT HAVING CHILDREN:
- Time together - more time each other and for other interests
- Freedom - more opportunity to pursue other areas of life
- Other children - can enjoy other children, and can help children
who are already here through foster parenting or charity work with
children
- Dual careers - both people may pursue careers full time, a person
(woman) does not have to quit, and a child is not raised by day care
- Financial security - more money to pursue other interests
- Community welfare - greater opportunity to get involved in
community organizations
- Difficulty - parenthood is a demanding and difficult job which is
not always enjoyable
- Strain on environmental resources - the world is already
overpopulated and is unable to support the people who are already
here
- Increase in overpopulation - having children geometrically
increases this problem and all of the problems that come with it
- Choice not mandate - parenthood has to be a choice, not everyone
is meant to be a parent
- Irrevocable decision - once the decision is made it cannot be
changed, so people must be sure it is what they want
- Failure - some people had unhappy or abusive childhoods and fear
that they would not be a good parent
- Danger - the world is a dangerous place and it is not right to
bring a child into it
In our opinion, it seems that all of the 9 reasons given for having children are selfish;
they are all about what the parent will gain for themselves (love,
bonding, etc.) While only 5 of the 13 reasons for not having
children are selfish, the other 8 involve concerns for the world, the
community, and the child that would be born.
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